Many stopped out because of a mismatch with the college or university they started attending, difficulties balancing family and life issues with school, finances or debt. Now, they are barred from many jobs with good pay that require a college credential, their children have no role models for college completion at home, and they may still carry the stigma of failure. Sharing Product. Media Moved by Degrees.
Comebacker Voices. Select Menu. Why It Matters! Community by community and state by state, The Graduate! Network is catalyzing a growing national movement to increase college completion among adults. They can keep up with them through email and vacations. In some cases, they will go their separate ways. This may surprise and sadden some students, especially those who have had the same friends since grade school. Students will be confronted with different people from a variety of backgrounds.
There are cultural differences; racial differences; and differences in sexual orientation, religion, values, and lifestyle. It can feel overwhelming to start over with new people.
It can be hard to make new friends. It also gives students a chance to develop a new identity. There will be feelings of acceptance as well as rejection. Coping with new ideas, new people, and the possibility of rejection takes energy. Roommates often have different lifestyles, values, and ways of doing things. A roommate can be particular, messy, reliable, unreliable, assertive, helpful, noisy, confused and difficult to live with.
Some students find it challenging to live with a new person. For others, it will be easy and friendships will emerge. If a student calls home to complain about a roommate problem, encourage them first to work things out. There are Residence Assistants RAs who have been trained to assist in this process. Students may need to talk about switching roommates if the situation becomes intolerable — for example, if a roommate is abusive.
The RA can help with that as well. There may be troubled students who want to rely on your adolescent excessively for support, care, and nurturance. Some students may be very emotionally distraught and needy. This can be demanding and take a lot of time and energy. Some students call home often. Understanding student and parental expectations about the kind of contact that will be maintained is important.
Have a discussion about what each family member needs as a minimum and wants as a maximum of contact. Family structure changes. Parents may experience freedom when the kids leave home, or they may feel a great sense of loss. Or they may feel both! A father may find himself the only male among his wife and daughters. A mother may find herself the only female among her husband and sons.
The phone may be quieter than before. New space may become available. Students may choose to not come home for vacations, or may not be able to do so because of cost or distance. They might be invited elsewhere. They might join campus service trips such as Habitat for Humanity. If parents are looking forward to home visits, they may have to adjust their expectations. Communication about expectations again is the key. Parents need to express concern and interest, and empower their adolescent to seek appropriate kinds of help when necessary, to make good choices, and to learn from experience.
Parents cannot step in and do it for their student. However, some of the situations can be stressful and difficult for your adolescent. There is a fine balance in taking a genuine interest and offering help — but not encouraging your adolescent to rely on you too much.
Coburn, K. New York: Quill Press. Streeper, M. New York: Avon Books. Johnson, H. New York: St. Kadison, R. The chapter for parents is excellent for suggestions on staying in touch, problem solving and mental health symptom checklists. Lauer, J.
Pasick, P. New York: W. Norton and Company. Seaman, B. This title is misleading; this is a very good description of the current state of college life, its everyday stressors and joys, and is not nearly as shocking as the title suggests. Van Steenhouse, A. Simpler Life Press. Transition Issues 1. Academics 5. College Life Relationships
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